After months of hearing about the Quebec Charter of Values and being conflicted about what to do about it, I have finally come up with a solution for the Province of Quebec and the religious community that will be a total win win win!
But first some background:
I don’t personally believe that oppressing people’s religious garb is the way to maintain a society even though I am apparently a dirty atheist. Forcing women to disrobe their Hijab or Burqa only invites more tensions in her life. Also making a guy take his turban off to go to work seems a bit of a stretch if not an indignity, unless it’s a safety issue such as wearing a helmet or hardhat.
However I also believe that a secular democracy needs to safe guard itself and its future from religion dictating the course of the society. There are plenty of theocracies out there to cater to Sharia law both the muslim and Born Again Christian versions and all manner of religious expression as a function of state, if someone believes enough in that way of life they should seek out living in those societies. At its core what I believe Quebec is trying to do is assert the secular nature of their society. Unfortunately they are giving special treatment to christian expression of faith (Ex Catholics go figure!), and they’re doing an otherwise shitty job of implementing safe guards against religious majorities infiltrating government functions and implementing faith laws.
I can’t pretend to have a full solution for keeping secular ideals front and centre to their society, but I do have a very easy way to defer the Charter of Values problem away from religious oppression. My approach is so novel in fact that it will also place any issues and offences about belief back into the caring hands of religious leaders.
My solution?
Don’t ban religious clothing or symbols. Do the opposite!
Make all symbols and clothing legal for everybody!
If a family doctor who is aChurch of the Spaghetti Monsterbeliever wants to wear a colander on his head then let him! If a teacher believes in the spiritual practice ofBDSM, and she feels oppressed having to hide her belief in the awesomeness of getting horse whipped by her domme, then she should be free to wear her slave collar to work at the elementary school in which she teaches.After all how can children learning about her submission, if done tastefully, be any worse off than children learning that they are destined for eternal damnation if they fail to swear belief in a messiah that claims only to love them.
I personally believe that Ninja’s are badass. I believe that I should have the right to wear a Ninja mask in public, in government institutions, at the grocery stores, and while boarding public transport and air planes. (I have no problem with showing my face to a government appointed law enforcement agent of my own gender to verify that I am who my identification says I am, and that I am not a freaky terrorist.)
Also I believe that Sihk‘s should always have the right to wear they’re Kirpan. It’s super cool to wear a knife all the time and I whole heartedly agree with this form of spiritual expression, but I feel oppressed that they get religious privilege that allows them to wear one without question! Why do people from recognized religions get to wear knives in some security restrictive places?
See I want to wear a wakizashiwhen I go to my legislature grounds, just in case I have to commit ritual suicide, or fight injustice (Both seem to be needed at most seatsgovernment these days). I should be allowed to have a knife in public all the time if I believe in it!
My point is, don’t restrict the symbols and garb of religious folks. It only sets up more martyrdom and repression amongst peoples of faith. What we need is to end the privilege for only some people to be outraged over their own beliefs and institute a society wide right for all people to be outraged over all their beliefs. Once the Pastafariansget to wave their noodly appendages of discontent or universal message of love at work, and on their passport photo then we will have achieved freedom and a new form of colourful unity.
Once my proposed Charter of Values amendment is adopted it will free the Quebec Government of the burden of being accused of religious intolerance and will squarely place the burden of being religiously intolerant back in the hands of the people.
In the event that religious people want to get pissed about someone’s colander denigrating their faith, or if my ninja mask is considered insulting to people who wear religious coverings over their heads then the onus lay with that religious practitioner to prove to me why their privilege trumps my right.
I seriously doubt however that any god fearing Christian, Muslim, Hindu, Buddhist or (insert faith) would ever go so far as to insinuate that wearing a colander or a ninja mask was satirical or insulting to their own faith, because we all know the sacredness with which other religions hold one another.
Hopefully once my amendment is adopted the theQubcoiscan get back to eating cheese & baguettes, and dressing good while flirting in a sexy French way that’s makes uptight Anglophone Canada look like a bunch of missionary position prudes.
Unless they adopt my style of amendment then i would never support such a draconian piece of legislation as this. I look forward to seeing you all in rainbow coloured sparkling sequin Burqa’s very soon!!
Things are Changing
Luckily society is changing and the right to express your beliefs is becoming more universal take the following two examples:
Pasta strainers are now considered suitable religious headgear in Austria… at least as far as the transport authorities are concerned.
Dailymail.co.uk
Texas Pastafarian Wins Battle At DMV, Becomes First In U.S. To Wear Colander In License Photo.
Huffington Post
But Religion is still Privileged
Illinois Pastafarian Wants to Wear a Colander on his Head for His Drivers License Picture, but Gets Rejected.
Patheos.com